Friday, 26 September 2008

Aidilfitri Revisited

Assalamualaikun WBT,
i have been blessed with the blessing of Aidilfitri 35 times, on the last count. this time around, aidilfitri will be here just several days after my 36th birthday, and several days after my wife's 33rd. we have lived a lively life so far. Allah is great. when we started our life together (that was 12 years ago), we looked at the future in anxiety (in capital A). i was a very junior teacher, with meagre salary, and during that time, i had just enrolled in University - with a halfpay salary.
but we survived.
my life was never a complete misery, nor was it a complete heaven. but we were contented, with our life, and with what we had to endure in those survival jungle.
looking back, i wouldn't want to have my life in any other way. this is my life, our life, and i am truly grateful with what Allah has blessed us with. Aidilfitri has always been a day of reflection for me, and this time is no exception.
Allah memberi rezeki kepadaku bukan dalam bentuk kekayaan harta dan wang ringgit. Juga Allah tidak memberiku anak-anak untuk dipeluk dan disayangi. tetapi Allah menganugerahkan aku yang kerdil ini dengan nikmat Islam, dan Kesedaran . Allah meredhakan aku bernafas. Allah memberikan aku pasangan yang istimewa. Allah memberikan aku nikmat kasih sayang dari ramai manusia - ibu bapaku, ibu mertuaku, adik beradikku, anak-anak saudaraku yang comel-conel belaka. Allah, aku tidak mampu menghitung nikmatMU.
Allah, sesungguhnya aku tidak layak untuk syurgaMU, tetapi aku juga tidak mampu untuk menanggung seksa nerakaMU. Maka ampunkanlah dosa-dosaku ya ALLAH. sesungguhnya Engkaulah Maha Pemberi Keampunan.
kepada rakan-rakan bloggers, maafkanlah segala kekhilafan dan kelemahanku, aku tidak dapat lari dari sifat mazmumah. kadang-kadang aku merasa Benar- sedangkan kebenaran itu hanya milik ALLAH semata-mata.
kepada Dr.Novandri yang banyak memberiku ruang menyatakan pendapat, terima kasih atas kesempatan mengenali. kepada sahabatku Don Balon, pohon halal segala makan minumku semasa kita bersama di UM, jemput ke Desa Coalfields raya ini. kepada rakan-rakan yang lain, Dzul,Man Helang dan lain-lain, i'm hoping to get to know you all better.
Salam Aidilfitri.

Friday, 19 September 2008

The Anwar Factor

The Anwar factor : Things you and I wonder

it's obvious! he's playing a highly complicated mind game. future political analyst might want to call him a Master Strategist. Motivational speakers would love to pronounce the success of their Law of Attraction, Power of Subconscious Mind, and The Secrets...

At the other side of the shilling, enemies will definitely create fresher and harsher expletives - specifically referred to Anwar, when one day the expletives find their entry to Collin Cobuilds or Oxford dictionaries. How else would you explain the commonness of "Liwat" nowadays? i tell you guys, i've been a teacher for 15 years, and never did i encounter students who very casually (and with deep understanding) mentioned the words "Sodomy" and "Liwat" until after that fateful 1998!!.

be it as it may, back to my nagging...

You see, Anwar is the master. He shapes malaysian political landscape - post 1998. Of course he came prepared. He never fails to attract attention since his student days. He is malaysia's James Dean of sort to the youth's eyes. He fulfils the ideals of youth who subscribe to anti-establishments. To young people of Malaysia, Anwar represents them. Anwar is still the angry young man. Even when he was in the government, young people still relate to him. I mean, compare him to let's say.... Shabery Cheeky, or Hamid Albar, or better compare him to Yang Amat Berhormat Ketua Pemuda UMNO Malaysia Dato' Seri Hishamudin Tun Hussien Onn!.

To the elders, Anwar is Malaysia's Jose Rizal. He is also Malaysia's Muhammad Abduh. He is Ghandi. He is also Sun Yat sen. Of course he is not actually of that very high stature yet, but at least, he seems to portray some of the qualities equated to the big names...

Now, do you still wonder why it is he who finally managed to bring PAS and DAP ( like bringing ultraman and the monster together) together? why Ku Li failed? Why Onn Jaafar failed? Need I still wonder why PAS seems to be infatuated with love to Anwar?

Lagi mau tanya Ka?

Tuesday, 16 September 2008

is this it?

and finally,

the much awaited sept 16th is here. for the uninitiated, it's Malaysia day. for Malaysian political animal, it's "the Day". it's the day ,awaited with short and sharp breath by the ruling coalition, in anticipation of the is also the day where one man's credibility is at stake.

my travel to putrajaya seems mysteriously mystery... cars seem to be less, the clouds seem heavy, heavier than they normally would, at this time of the year. the office block seems dull, duller than it normally is. people walk about in short quick pace, talking or more accurately whispering in a hush hush tone.

the atmosphere is somewhat different. business is not as usual. people talk ,and walk, and smile but they do them differently. the net is unusually slow, the traffic is heavy. winds come in all direction, words of mouth become the gospel truth.

no one single story is reliable, but no one single story is unreliable either.

will this be the day? will it be the change much awaited?

my eyes are closed,sinking into oblivion...

Friday, 12 September 2008

What is TRUTH ?

it amuses me a lot when i observe how people choose who to like, who to love, who to idolize. ditto when they ( we ) decide who to hate, loathe and feel disgusted to..

you see, we human race have this thing that we call selective memory. we choose what to remember, we choose what to forget. prior to that, we filter all the information that come our way. this filtering process will then determine what we decide to accept, or reject... when we accept it, we remember. when we don't, we forget.

remember our friends in primary school ?

after 20-30 years into adulthood, we still remember some of them, but we do forget some...

i don't know about you, but i often have this guilty feeling, about old friends whom i chose twenty-thirty years ago to hate... you see, we grew, went our separate ways, me - always looking at him as someone who "will never make it!", and he, always thinking of me as a pest to society... surprise surprise, after all this while, he actually turned out well, very well indeed, and i never come close to becoming a gangster either!

you see, my point is this : when you hate someone, you turn a blind eye to his quality

likewise, when you love someone so much, you can never see his evil...

dear friends, i know it's hard to swallow the truth. especially when the truth remains unknown.

problem : what IS truth ?

Wednesday, 10 September 2008


Jangan menangis anakku
Melayu sudah mati lima puluh tahun dahulu
terbujur di perbaringan waktu
hidup tanpa nyawa
meratap tanpa suara

Jangan menangis anakku
Jasad sudah kaku lima puluh tahun dahulu
berhentilah menangis di tubir nisan ini
kerana Melayu sudahpun mati
ditikam benci
kerana Melayu sudah hilang
disesat sengketa

berhentilah menangis
Tuah tak berani lagi menyusun pencak
keris tersarung tinggal tersisip reput dipinggang
dastar koyak diinjak dagang bangsat merempat

Hulurkanlah keranda itu
untuk bangsaku
yang sudah mati lima puluh tahun dahulu

Thursday, 4 September 2008

hats off to Pak Lah

i wish to sincerely congratulate Pak Lah on his continuous war against graft and bribery. i know, many would argue that what he has done so far is still not enough. but, to be fair to him, staging a war against something so rampant as graft is not easy. especially when you are alone. moreover if those who you hope would help you desert you. worse when not only they don't help you, they BLAME you...
pity Pak Lah. everybody blames him. but come to think of it, critically, does he really deserve to be blamed?
1. Tun blames him for the poor performance of BN in PRU12. : WHAT DID ALL HIS CABINET MINISTERS DO?
2. UMNO members blame him for the low-image they are suffering : WHAT DO THEY DO TO HELP STRENGTHEN UMNO'S IMAGE? WHY DO THEY POINT THEIR FINGER TO HIM, WHEN THEY THEMSELVES NEVER REALLY DO ANYTHING (other than securing government contracts)?
3. People blame him for the so-called slow economic performance : SO, WHERE GOES ALL HIS CADRES OF ECONOMIC ADVISORS? WHERE'S NOR YAKUB? WHERE ARE ALL HIS CABINET MEMBERS? WHY HIDE? WHY DON'T YOU DEFEND HIM? come on man! no one man can be really good in all things and subjects.... Pak Lah is quite "slow" in economics, i agree, but to blame him alone? i don't think so...


Tuesday, 2 September 2008

Mencari Erti Ramadan

Salam hormat buat pengunjung-pengunjung laman ini,
Sempena Ramadan yang mulia ini, izinkan saya berpesan kepada diri saya sendiri dan juga kepada saudara-saudari sekelian agar kita sama-sama mengambil kesempatan dari keberkatan bulan ini. marilah kita perbanyakkan ibadah, dan menghentikan permusuhan, terutama sekali permusuhan yang tidak membawa manfaat pada agama dan bangsa kita.
sekiranya sepanjang perkenalan kita di arena maya ini, wujud kata-kata yang mengguris dan menyakitkan hati , dengan ikhlasnya saya pohon kemaafan. sesungguhnya sebagai manusia, saya selalunya merasa megah dengan pendapat sendiri, dan selalu saja merasa yakin bahawa saya berada dalam kebenaran. namun, hakikat sebenarnya hanya ALLAH SWT yang maha mengetahui.
Salah atau Benar tidak sejelas Hitam atau Putih...
"Ya Allah, aku berlindung padaMu dari Azab (Neraka),
dan aku berlindung padaMu dari fitnah Dajjal,
dan aku berlindung padaMu dari fitnah hidup dan mati.."